It's Not Always Sunny in Philadelphia

As a Steeler fan, or maybe for all football fans for that matter, the start of the season means your team has a chance. Wait ‘til next year is now THIS year. We may even look back at rituals we performed during successful seasons to emulate them and allow for another run at a championship.

In 2008, every Sunday I cooked something that was Black and Gold…and we brought home the Lombardi. This year I’ve decided the food spin would be the local flavor of the opposing team’s town. Last week it was Cincinnati Chili. It was devoured like A.J. Green was in the Steelers secondary. This week, well Philly, will be an easy one. Cheesesteaks anyone? In some cases I will prepare the fare myself. But in this instance I went straight to the source. Jim’s of South St. was my first foray into the siren call of the steaks…so this would be the place. The advent of shipping local favorites to far off places has even come to this little establishment. I will be ready with my foe’s food. We can’t lose.

Oh wait! What’s this. The talking heads on the NFL Network said the Steelers have not won in Philly since 1965. That would mean they are 0 and my lifetime in the city of brotherly love. But how could that be? I went to college in the liberty town…how did I not know this. I did attend a Steeler victory over the Birds in 1994 at Three Rivers in Pittsburgh and a Steeler loss at Veteran’s Stadium in 1997…but to have not won at any stadium in Philly while I’ve been a sentient being? It was time to do a little googling. They were right. The Steelers had not won in Philadelphia since October 24, 1965. Now, the only solace is that the Steelers did not seem to play the Eagles in Philly a whole lot over the last 50 years. In a twist of NFL scheduling it only totals 8 games. You would have to go back to the 9th game to their last victory. The day was won for the Steelers with big plays from Bradshaw. Wait, not that Bradshaw, he did not win in Philly either. This was JIM Bradshaw who led the defense with 3 interceptions returning one for a touchdown. This was at least one Bradshaw ago. Terry Bradshaw though did get one, and only one, crack at bringing home a W along the Pennsylvania Turnpike. The Eagles were an upcoming team with the likes of Ron Jaworksi and Wilbert Montgomery. The Steelers came in undefeated and the current Superbowl champs. The Eagles would walk away with a victory making a statement to the NFL. The following year the Eagles would be in the Superbowl.

It would be another 12 years, in 1991, before the Steelers would head to the eastern part of the state. I remember it well. It was the 4^th game of the season and my friends who were still attending Drexel did not return to campus until late September. The college started later than most due to its quarterly academic schedule. It would be too much of a challenge to plan a trip down. However at that time, I would watch all the Steeler games at Mulcahey’s pub. And on this first Sunday of fall, summer hung on with all its might. The bar put the game on at the outside bar, which was never open for football. But the abundant sunshine allowed for us Sunday dark cave dwellers out into the daylight. This had to be a good omen. Terry Bradshaw was a distant memory and the QB now was Bubby Brister. A brash upstart, he took the Steelers on a magical ride in the 1989 playoffs. Now, two years latter there was an excitement again with this team. The Steelers were 2-1 and got off to a great start in the first half of the game. Then the game, and the season fell apart. Brister threw three second half interceptions and the Eagles took the lead…which they would never relinquish. Tensions grew between Brister and his All Pro TE Eric Green. The Steelers would go on to lose 7 of their next 10 games. Brister would eventually be benched effectively ending his career in Pittsburgh.

1997 the schedule makers would have the Steelers pack their bags for Philly once again. This time I was going too. The Eagles were coming off a 10-6 season in 1996 where they had finished first in the division.  The fans were full of hope that 1997 would be THEIR year to win it all.  A slow start and a losing record created unrest among the fans.  An already unruly crowd turned worse.  Alcohol was banned after half time…that didn’t work.  Security was enhanced…no impact.  The city of Philadelphia needed a radical idea to turn the tide of trouble.  Their idea was to deal with the perpetrators with swift and immediate justice.  They would install a sanctioned courtroom right on the premises.  They chose Nov 23, 1997 to implement it.  It would be the same game against the Steelers I would be going to. The Steelers came in as big favorites. They were 8-3 and among the best in the AFC. After the bad beginning the Eagles began to steady the ship. A second year QB from Ohio State would be getting his second start. He was fresh off leading the Eagles to a tie game in the waning moments against Baltimore. There was an excitement in the stands as this would be Bobby Hoying’s first home game. This time it would be Kordell Stewart throwing three interceptions and the Eagles jumped out to a 20-6 lead. The Steelers would never recover. However, this year the Steelers would make it to the AFC Championship game. Unfortunately the Steelers would lose, as Stewart would throw three interceptions in that contest too.

2008 would be the next, and last time the Steelers would be in Philly. But this time it would be at the new stadium, The Linc, Lincoln Financial Stadium. I decided not to attend, as now I was out further east on the Island. I was now married and a bit of a homebody. I had the NFL package and Max, why would I need anything more. I considered going as it was said the crowd at the new stadium was more subdued than their counterparts from a raucous Vet Stadium. However, the Eagles play on the field brought the crowd to life. Ben Roethlisberger led this incarnation of the Steeler team. Much like Bradshaw in 1979, he came into the game having a Supebowl under his belt. The Steelers were among the elite in the AFC, but this time so were the Eagles. It was no contest. The Eagles treated Ben like he said something bad about their mother. Ben was sacked 8 times and hit numerous more. He was eventually pulled from the game to protect him from getting hurt. It was said recently by Ben that he contemplated retirement after this game. I couldn’t blame him. Eventually the Steelers would put this travisty behind them. Ben would go on to win the Superbowl that year with a last second TD pass. On the victorious podium, Ben held the Lomardi high and said, “Who’s laughing now O-Line!” I can only imagine he was thinking back to the Eagles game.

Now it is 2016 and it is the Steelers 9^th try in my lifetime to win in Philadelphia. While the last two losses have developed into successful seasons for the Black and Gold, this time I’d prefer they come out with a victory.

It will make my Cheesesteak taste all the better…

Do You Remember...

Ask Walsh, he remembers everything. This is not an uncommon line I hear no matter what group of friends I may be with. Even at a young age I seemed to always remember. Good or bad. A friend of mine says we remember what we choose to remember. Well, I choose to remember everything.

As you may have seen in my blogs, my memory is vivid in detail going back to as far as I can…well, remember. Scientists say people are left brained or right brained depending on how they process their thoughts. I sometimes feel I have both sides working. Now, unfortunately this does not translate into being more intelligent. It is more like one side of my brain allows me to function on a daily basis…while the other side has a projector constantly showing old home movies. If I need to go back and remember, I just pop a reel on and off I go back in time. In my blogs, you can see that something in my day triggers the trip. However, now I am only visiting. When I was younger I tended to dwell in it. The previous grass always seemed greener. While I’ve heard the reality of the past would never match my sweet imagination, that everything looks worse in black and white, I don’t sugar coat the experiences. I had to learn to look at, and not yearn for, the past. And once I did that why not look back? We each have become a sum of our own experiences whether we remember them or not.

Now, while I seem to have the innate ability to remember, don’t think I’m able to put it to efficient use. It has not allowed me to avoid making similar mistakes over the course of my life. I am who I am. I can look back and see how things happened and why…and most likely why they will happen again. When I was younger I would ponder “what if” I did this, or reacted “this way”…what if I only… But as I once said, you can only make a decision based on the information available to you at the time. Looking back, you now already know the outcome, which obviously is more than you would have known…so how could you ever have done something differently. It’s like a coin toss already knowing which side will come up. And if you did somehow change what you would have done, and alter the outcome…then what? I am a big believer in the ripple or butterfly effect. That one change would change everything. You can’t alter one event and think that everything else will play out the same…or how you think it would have once you changed your path. You can never predict how this new course you are on would have taken you.

So it is easy for me to remember, because I am always remembering. I am doing it right now. It is rare I will forget something, but every now and then my memory will be jarred. Off to the tape room to find that reel…which I know is in there somewhere. Christina will catch me drifting off sometimes and ask me what I’m thinking about. She can easily see the changes of expression on my face…even though I am unaware. Due to my vivid memories I not only remember and visualize it, but I feel the emotions too. It is almost like my own make shift time machine. And once I go, I embrace it…good or bad. Jubilation, anticipation…sorrow. We watch movies that draw on our emotions…why not our own memories. We had to live through it. Of course I hear the inevitable “do you really want to relive that?” Yes, yes I do…all of it…and while I still can. As I said, our memories are who we are. And not being a believer in the after life, they will eventually cease to exist. Why not get the most out of them now. Life is too short, and I find comfort in taking time to look back. How many times do we watch reruns of our favorite TV shows? They evoke the same feelings we had when we first viewed them. My reruns are just a little more personal.

I’m not going to wait for my life to flash before my eyes.

I’m going to sit back and enjoy the show now… 

Reelin' In The Years

I never liked writing in High School. I always found it a burden to find 500 nouns, adjectives and adverbs to fill out certain assignments. Maybe it was just the fact I had not experienced enough life to have the words flow onto a page. Over four years ago I started my blog basically to kill time during the drudgery of the LIRR commute. Then I found out I liked to do it. Then I found out people read it…and they actually liked it. So, I will try again, albeit more sporadically, to regale you with my tales. A Facebook memory appeared this morning of a Steely Dan concert I attended 2 years ago on this date, it prompted me to think back to how I wound up where I am…and why the blogs stopped.

It was 2013 and the world did not end on the Mayan doomsday date, 12/21/2012. However, my own doomsday took place 9 days later as the Steelers finished at 8-8 and out of the playoffs. At least this came with one consolation prize. My weekends in January would be free. This allowed me to plan without having a Steeler playoff game to work around. It was like any other Friday in January and I was looking forward to the weekend. The only caveat was the looming layoffs at my job. We had faced three major downsizing during my seven years there.  Luckily the local IT department had remained untouched and intact. This time would be different. Our manager knew they had their sights set on him. A shake up at CEO had left him vulnerable and this time they would make their move. He saw this coming, but from his sources he said the rest of use would remain. As I arrived Monday morning, it didn’t take long to realize this would not be the case. Already walked out of the building, my boss was on his way home by the time I arrived. Three people from the IT headquarters in Rye stood guard in our office like we were in lockdown. We were told that certain of us would be getting a phone call to meet with the interim manager. It now became a game of Russian Roulette. The first phone ringing was at the desk next to mine. Like a solemn soldier he marched off to his destiny. An hour later he returned and our fears were confirmed…he was laid off. Now knowing full well what a call would mean, an eerie silence fell over the room. For whom the bell tolls…it tolls for thee. As Don Henley once said, “I got the call today, I didn't want to hear, but I knew that it would come.”

I was shown to an office a couple of floors up. I had never met the woman from Human Resources or the new manager from Rye who would now oversee the NYC operations. We had seen the staff in Rye get promotions and raises. Now they came to pick our pockets to pay for it. I couldn’t help but notice this guy looked just like the Hispanic actor who played on Barney Miller as a cop and Lamont’s friend on Sanford and Son. All I kept thinking is great, I’m going to get fired by Julio…along with the sound of Redd Foxx’s voice saying, “You big Dummy!”  All the paper work was a mere formality, my fate long since decided. The only solace was the severance, of which I couldn’t complain. I signed away my seven years of service and was escorted back to my desk. I was given a cardboard transfer box to wipe away the evidence of my corporate existence. When I was done, I was walked to the elevator and out the door. I was left on the sidewalks of Manhattan much like Felix when he received that request from his wife. With nowhere else to go…I headed home. After 25 years of work, I took some time to myself. Max enjoyed having me around…and believe it or not so did Christina. Removal from the rat race softened me significantly. Eliminating 20 hours a week of dealing with the LIRR and MTA was a huge part of it. The filth, the inhuman conditions…all of which completely ignored by the corpse like commuters…takes a toll on the soul. If you allow it, it transforms you into a different person…and I unfortunately fell under that spell. Luckily the love of a lab is the perfect potion to fix what ails you.

Over the time off I took on some consulting work and did peruse the online job sites. I would cherry pick here and there where I would send my resume. I mostly looked on the Island as Christina basically forbid me to go back to the daily drudgery of the city shuffle. I tended to agree. However, that was where most of the jobs where. Two opportunities came knocking I really wanted. Unfortunately I was Miss Runner Up. There are no offers for second place. I opened up the search a bit even though I was doused in the recent disappointment. I applied to two very similar positions online. In a few days I received a call back and discussed the opening. I was excited, but quickly realized it was the lesser of the two. He informed me he owned his own Mac shop…in the city. He was short staffed and needed immediate help. He convinced me to come in for an interview and I reluctantly agreed. When the time came I certainly did not bring my A game. By the time I got home I had a message to give him a call back.  I was hesitant, but there is this thing called money…and I tended to need the legal tender. He wanted to hire me full time but I informed him I did not want the job nor did I want to commute back in the city. Unfazed by my negative answer he said he would hire me part time if I didn’t want the full 5 days a week. I threw out a ridiculously high hourly rate. He agreed. I tried not to get the job…but it was obvious he needed the help.

This post is not about this job, just a precursor to the next…so I won’t go into details. I tried to make the best of it. I even looked up the owner of this shop and found out he was a long time Mac evangelist. Hey, maybe I could learn from him and he could open up a few doors. I tried to put on a happy face. However, from day one I hated it…and it never got better. In my few months there I would never deal with him. The Mac shop was disorganized at best. I was sent out on jobs that I was woefully unprepared for. Lack of equipment, lack of communication, lack of anything I needed. I would show up at offices carrying nothing more than my commuter bag with my pillow. They gave me no laptop, no software, no nothing to perform even the menial of IT tasks. I will say the clients were more forgiving than the Mac shop itself. After a few weeks, the one guy who tried to keep the chaos together, quit. He at least organized my days. The girl who took over had no plan, and it showed. Every week I wanted to quit, but every week I got a paycheck. I was getting way more for three days than I was getting for five. Suck it up Mr. Walsh. As the weeks passed, I realized most of my assignments were of the “fill in” variety. Companies needed support for when their staff took their summer time off…including the Mac shop itself. As August was drawing to a close, I started seeing staff returning. It was then I realized my days were numbered. This was not a bad thing. I was still sending out my resume in hope of finding something different.

On one Friday, August 22^nd I saw an ad. Holy Holy Grail! This was it! Everything I wanted in a job right there online. An immediate opening for a Mac admin position and only one town over. I double-checked my resume, quickly put together a cover letter and off it went. I kid you not when I tell you I received a call back in no more than 5 minutes from when I hit send. When they said immediate they were not kidding. It didn’t take long for this rose to reveal its thorns. Almost from the word Go, things started to stink. Less rose, more manure. The talent recruiter who had placed the ad loved my resume. It was by far the best she had received. She then began to inform me of the position. The Design Company she wanted to place me at was in turmoil. The IT Director was fired and that afternoon the support staff decided to follow him. They were left with no one. She said it was risk/reward. The reward was an opportunity. If the Design Company liked me I could potentially become their IT Director. But it seemed even she would not know some of the unforeseen risks that lie ahead. She did say the Design Company was in such disarray she would not recommend leaving a job to take this one. She also mentioned an IT Provider was trying to get their foot in the door. In spite of all this I said I was interested. I don’t regret it, but it took me on quite the emotional ride.

The talent recruiter said she would get back to me soon, as the Design Company needed someone fast. A week went by…soon was slipping away. The next Friday I called her. She informed me the situation had changed and things were not as dire as the week before. It seemed the IT Provider got its foot, ass…their whole body in the door. However, she said that the IT Provider still needed a Mac person to handle the account. I would have to work for them and be placed at the Design Company. Not ideal, however my current job was not ideal…nor going to last much longer. I let her know I would still be interested. A few days passed and not a peep. I called the talent recruiter and she said the job changed once again. They said they discovered several PC servers at the Design Company and the job was no longer a Mac only position. I would say the wheels were beginning to fall off…but little did I know, this was only the beginning. She did say she would see if the IT Provider would still be interested in hiring me and she’d call me back. I held out little hope that this would happen. Two days later I was shocked to hear from her. She informed me the IT Provider was still interested in me for my Mac experience. We set up an interview for Monday, Sept. 8^th since I had Mondays and Fridays off with my current position. I prepped for the interview but I was not as smitten with the job as I once was. What started as a perfect fit was dwindling down to a size 28 but I take 34. Again, I would make the best of it. As I was getting ready to leave the house, my phone rang. It was the Mac shop I worked for in the city. They never called me on my off day, so I was pretty sure what would be on the other end. It was the girl who had taken over the scheduling. She informed me they no longer needed my services as other techs were returning from vacation. I was not surprised. The owner, who had convinced me to take the position, didn’t even have the courtesy to make the call.

With this new piece of information, I decided to head to the interview with the full intention of getting the job…as now I needed one. I nailed the interview and before I even reached my car in the parking lot the talent recruiter was calling me. She informed me of what I already knew, and they wanted to have me in for a second interview later that week. She asked what day I was free, well…as of now, all of them. Of course that was not my response. She suggested Thursday. Interview #2 went just as well. I was even asked if I could come in the next day or the following Monday, if needed, to get started at the Design Company onsite. Without divulging my new employment status, I said I could probably move things around to accommodate them. Later that day the talent recruiter called me and said I had done very well. She let me know I would most likely be hearing something shortly. Friday passed and nothing. I guess they didn’t need me yet. I looked forward to a relaxing weekend, as I no longer had to deal with the insanity of my previous employment. Free from the shackles of stupidly, I did not have to worry what the following week at that Mac shop would bring. Even more so, that Saturday night, I was going to see Steely Dan at the Paramount in Huntington. Friends of mine had an extra ticket and I was in. The last time I had seen Steely Dan the experience was marred by a severely under par dinner experience and a very large man encroaching on our entire existence at the concert. This time would have to be better. To increase the enjoyment we were headed for some Cajun cuisine before the show. As I was getting ready, I received a call around 3:00pm. I recognized the number. It was the talent recruiter. But on a Saturday? Must be important so I took the call. She was happy to inform me the IT Provider loved me and they would like to offer me the position. I immediately accepted the offer. The journey was over. The last few weeks of ups and downs seemed worth it. I couldn’t even imagine this was going to be the easy part.

Full up with this knowledge I was on a high. I would be working close to home…no city, no LIRR! Soon I was off to dinner and to see Steely Dan. My friends even noticed the extra bounce in my step. One of them had even dealt with the Design Company before. She had a less than glowing opinion, but I mentioned I did my due diligence and had seen the reviews on Glassdoor. I was undeterred because if not for those issues, the opportunity would not have become available. Dinner was fantastic and we headed to the venue. We had seats in the bar area up top. We were early and scooped up bar stools by the rail looking down at the stage. Things were looking up. I should have known better. But how could I foresee this. I checked my e-mail on my phone a few moments before Steely Dan was to go on. I saw an e-mail from the talent recruiter marked urgent. I assumed it was the offer in writing and an update from our conversation only hours earlier. It was not. I was informed the IT Provider had to rescind their offer. My heart sank. Like pulling the rug right out from under me. It seems the Design Company had issues with the IT Provider’s contract and they may not even be going forward with them. The concert was ruined. My friends could see something happened as I just shut down. During the show I called Christina to let her know and I asked her to come get me. I let my friends in on what happened but there was no consoling me. What started as an opportunity for a dream job turned into an abusive relationship…and there was more to come.

Over the next few months there was some back and forth between the talent recruiter and myself. I was told to hold on if I could, they were still trying to work something out. Two months later the IT Provider and the Design Company reached an agreement on a contract. It was a bastardized version beyond belief. Like a battered spouse I went back to them and accepted their unfortunate terms. I would be split 3 days at the Design Company and 2 days at the IT Provider. Eventually I would be weaned off to 1 day a month at the Design Company. There would be no opportunity to get hired by the Design Company. I can only image this is what it would be like to accept a conditional surrender. With no were else to go…I went with this. Working at the Design Company went smoothly, working at the IT Provider did not. The following year’s turmoil makes this story seem mild. Things would eventually turn for the better after that first year. An updated contract in 2015/2016 would have me at the Design Company full time.

But with Facebook’s reminder comes the fact that this contract is now up.

Hopefully I won't be Reelin' this year...

Not Just A Ball

For those who might have missed it...last night Christina, Max and I went to “Bark in the Park” at the LI Ducks game. Due to a rainout the previous day, it became a double header. Most of those in attendance with pups left after the first game. Christina and I just moved down closer to the action. As we settled into our new seats a gentleman around my age asked if he could pet Max. Max was already waging his tail like he knew the gentleman his entire life. He said dogs are a good judge of character, and be worried if your dog doesn’t like someone. I noticed he was wearing a black T-shirt that said “The Dogfather”, like the Godfather marquee. The gentleman took a real liking to Max and as he started to go, he said to Max… if he catches a foul ball, he’d give it to him. I joked he’d probably rather have you give him your fries. The gentleman quipped back, fries would be easier…he could BUY those. The gentleman was off to settle in his front row seats.

Around the 4^th inning it happened. A high foul pop headed towards us. The third baseman stuck his arm into the stands to reach for it…but it was too far in. I was ready to play the bounce off the concrete floor, but as it hit it bounced up into a row of chairs…and rolled back under the gentleman’s seat. He reached down, picked up the ball, got right up without hesitation and headed straight for us. He gave the ball to Max who gladly took it in his mouth. He said, Max, this is for you…and headed back to his seat. The little bit of crowd remaining applauded the gentleman.

When the inning was over, I walked down the aisle with Max to the gentleman. I told Max to give kisses and thank him, which of course he did. I then asked the gentleman if he wanted the ball back, it was a very nice gesture. He told me to keep it. He then told me he had just lost his dog to cancer. I HAD wondered why the fan with a “Dogfather” shirt on was the only one without a dog. He told me how hard it was to go through chemo with his pup, but he was there with him through it all. Maybe Max sensed that when the gentleman originally came over, and for a moment maybe it helped the gentleman forgot his sorrow. I hope it did, because I will never forget his gesture.

I probably will never see the gentleman again. But I want you to think of him the next time you have an opportunity to do something like this. Somewhere his dog would appreciate it...