Lap Of Luxury

Lap Of Luxury

While working at the North Shore Animal League, one of the perks was being able to attend Islander and Met games from the luxury suites.  EAB, European American Bank, offered their boxes to their high-end customers, and North Shore was one of them.  Being an Islander fan I usually was on the list to be invited to those.  I was able to see the Islanders double overtime playoff victory in 1993 from the EAB luxury box.  The Islanders were down 3-0 going into the 3^rd period.  In between periods I had the pleasure of riding the elevator back up to the suites with Islander Assistant GM Darcy Regier.  I opened the conversation with the fact that can you believe the Capitals back up goalie was shutting us down.  He assured me, “Don’t worry, we will get to him this period.”  The Islanders would score three goals, tying the game with a minute left.  As the crowd erupted I looked over to the Islander box only to see Mr. Regier pointing to me in a “see, I told you so manner.”  I gave him the thumbs up, we were going to OT.

Luxury box games at Shea were a different story.  It was harder to get invited to since baseball was a bigger draw and I had only been once before.  It was nearing the end of the 2002 baseball season.  The Mets were only two years removed from the World Series but now they resided dead last in their division.  Since the Mets were settled in the basement, the EAB luxury box tickets were available.  They were offered to North Shore’s finance department and I was lucky enough to go.

We would arrive early to maximize our time in the luxury box.  So early in fact, that there were no security guards at the elevators to usher us in.  No worries, we took matters into our own hands.  We easily arrived at the luxury level.  We had been to the EAB box before and started to head left.  I stopped our group as I glanced quickly at my ticket.  Says Box 3.  It was right in front of us.  Maybe EAB had changed boxes?  No matter, this was closer to home plate…and right now, closer to us.  As we entered we were welcomed to a beautiful buffet.  We had been offered food in the boxes before, but never were we presented with such a bounty.  Among the offerings was a shrimp cocktail tree that would rival any sequoia.  Also, a “make your own” fajita station was simmering.  The fridge was filled with high-end beer.  Top shelf liquor at the bar.  We turned off the Mets pregame, put on Married with Children and placed one hand in our waistband.  Paradise.

We were not shy with the food either…we never were at these things.  We joked we needed to get our monies worth even though the tickets were free.  Soon the sequoia of shrimp looked more like a "less than mighty" oak.  The filled fajita station was dwindling.  I believe the yellow gas light came on for the beer level.  It was about an hour and a half that finally someone else entered.  Since we did arrive so early we did not think it strange that it had only been the three of us.

The gentleman entered and was silent, which we thought was rude.  Whatever, talking to him would only inhibit our intake.  He looked around and headed out the sliding glass doors to the seats.  It was in the high 90’s so we were not appreciative he left them open.  I slid over, and closed the doors grumbling, “What, do you live in a barn.”  After a while the gentleman came back in, a little annoyed the door was closed behind him.  We could care less.  He then exited the room without a word.  Another half hour rolled by when the gentleman entered again.  This time he at least acknowledged us with a look, but continued on.  He exited the same sliding glass doors…once again leaving them open.  I muttered, “I hope this idiot is not going to do this all game.”  We went back to our indulgence.  Once again he exited without a word.

It was nearing game time and we finally wondered where all the others were.  The Box held about two dozen or so, yet it was near 7pm and still only the three of us were there.  Soon the gentleman entered again and finally spoke.  I guess the third time was the charm.  He asked, “Who are you guys with?”  We responded we are with the North Shore Animal League.  He looked puzzled, “Ummm, there is no room for you guys, we have the whole box.”  The three of us then proceeded to get up, puzzled ourselves.  We told him we were invited by EAB.  He responded, “EAB? This is a private box.”  We headed to the door to check and were “greeted” by 5 security guards.  The guards looked angry and were ready to bounce us.  I quickly produced the ticket and pointed defiantley showing the guard, “See, Luxury Box, Suite 3.”  The guard chuckled as he realized what had happened. “Sir, that is not SUITE 3, that is ROW 3…you want SUITE 22.”   Ooops.  Well, we belonged in a suite, just not this one.  As we exited, we passed about 20 or so people. These were the correct occupants and they had been waiting outside for over an hour.  I never understood why they kept sending in the same one guy.  Were we that intimidating?  Couldn’t all of them just come in and chase us out?  Did they really need to get security?  No matter, we had the box..and the food…all to ourselves during that time.

The security guards escorted us to the proper suite.  One of them pointed at the door much like I had pointed at the ticket moments earlier.  He smiled and offered one simple word, “22”.  We entered and were greeted by our hosts.  They had wondered where we could be since they knew we were arriving early.  We told them the tale of our wrongful entry.  Everyone enjoyed a laugh, and then it was time to watch the game.  After a few innings, not full enough, we looked around for more shrimp and fajitas…what we found were dirty water dogs and cold chicken fingers.  What was this?  Did they eat all the good food while we were in the other box?

A moment or two later a waiter came in.  We inquired about the shrimp and fajitas.  He informed us, “On no, that is special order food.  It doesn’t come with the luxury box.  You have to purchase it separately.  It needs to be prepared for you in advance.”  Not only had we sat in the wrong box for the last two hours but we had devoured almost all of their high end buffet in the process.  To this day I wonder how their side of the story goes.  When three guys held their luxury box hostage and ate all their food.

I will forever be spoiled.  Forget the peanuts and crackerjack…give me shrimp and fajitas every time!