Piss Off

Piss Off

It is summer and with that comes the chance that your dog may develop “hot spots” for one reason or another.  These are localized infections that develop on the skin beneath the hair.  Max has been able to avoid them the last few years.  However, this summer they returned with a vengeance.  Poor Max had to be shaved in so many spots that it would make George Sanderson from Monsters Inc. cringe.  Along with that, Max also had to have a cortisone shot and has been on antibiotics.  This has led to an unquenchable thirst…and an aftermath of peeing.  This weekend I remained downstairs to let him out every hour or so throughout the night.  I was not concerned if he had an accident…I would understand.  I just did not want him to be uncomfortable.  As I awoke this morning, I let Max out to pee before I left for work.  As I waited for him to finish, it reminded me of my own issue in the 6^th grade.

Now, maybe this blog may eventually turn out to be about self-exploration (sounds like something you might see on late night Cinemax).  However this story I have shared many times before.  I especially repeat it to Christina since she is in the education field.  Now that I am older I see teachers in a different light.  Of course students these days are hardly respectful of their teachers and do not accept their authority.  The pendulum has swung too far to one side from the days when I was a student.  Then again, maybe it used to be too far to the other.

6^th grade was the last year of my elementary school.  We would be the oldest kids in the building.  I had always been a top student...yeah me…throughout the earlier grades and this year would be no exception.  It would be the first time any of us would have a male teacher though…this is not going where you might think it is, it was not a Catholic school.  He was a tall man but who wasn’t tall to 11 year olds.  His profile resembled that of Abe Lincoln.  As we entered his class on that first day he commanded respect.  In those days the “wait til your father gets home” rule was in effect.  Also, it applied to any Dad in your neighborhood.  With our new teacher being a man, he exemplified that disciplinarian figure.

Now, what does Max peeing have to do with this?  Well, somewhere along the line in 6^th grade I developed a urination problem.  It was not the NOT being able to go, like I worry about at my age now.  It was the always having to go issue.  For those of you who drink beer, you can fully understand this.  However, not quite imbibing yet…this was peeing without the fun.  My Mom took me to the doctor but he found nothing wrong.  Ole’ Doc Hogue offered up his expertise, “If he has to pee, let him pee”.  I fully agreed with his advice.  It also was not a pants wetting issue, as I could always hold it…even as uncomfortable as it might get.  That ability became a premium when I was in that 6^th grade class.

I raised my hand.  Called upon, I informed the teacher I needed to go to the bathroom.  After my return, it hit me again.  I waited about 15 minutes and my arm was up once more.  I told him I had to return to the bathroom.  Of course he had to offer, “Did you forget to go while you were in there?”  Thanks teach, I am pretty sure I got this urination thing down pat by now.  He allowed me a second trip.  This would be the last time he would do so.

I informed my Mom about this and she called the Principal at the school.  The Principal said she would speak with the teacher.  However, the next day it was the same thing.  This kept up for the next week or so.  It all came to a head on a Friday…Assembly Day.  It was held in the afternoon so I relieved myself right after lunch.  It really didn’t matter…I would fill right back up anyway.  We headed to the auditorium and I thought I would gain some leniency since we were passing the restrooms anyway.  My request was denied.  In all my years since, I can never recall a more uncomfortable two hours…and I have indulged in a beer or two since then.  After the assembly was over, I was practically doubled over in pain.  The teacher looked and asked what was wrong.  I said, I told you I had to go to the bathroom.  His only answer was “Still?”  Did this guy fail biology?  Pee only goes away one way.  On the way back to the classroom, as we passed the bathroom, I darted in without asking.  The teacher was livid.  Later that day my Mom was called because of my urination insubordination.

For my Mom and I this was the final straw.  We went back to the Ole Doc and he penned a wonderful prescription, “If he has to pee, let him pee”.  I showed this to the teacher the following day.  Nothing.  I came home and my Mom was in disbelief.  Had I not been a good son, she might not have been so quick to believe me.  No phone calls this time.  She went directly to the school and gave the doctors note to the Principal.  Mom was very protective of me.  I was not in the room at the time and can only imagine what went on behind the closed door.  The Principal came out white as a ghost.  Maybe she pointed out my Step-Dad’s connections.  After a few days the teacher finally, begrudgingly gave in.  It would be the last time I would ever trust an adult, let alone a teacher…or anyone in authority for that matter.  I would question everything.

Eventually whatever was causing this subsided.  However the teacher’s disdain for me did not.  I had questioned his authority and judgment.  He would hold it against me the rest of the year.

I have always wondered what his motive was.  Did he think as the only male figure in the school, he needed to teach a young boy to hold it?  Did he think I was lying…what was there for me to gain?  Was it a power trip since he thought he was the ultimate authority?  Was he putting me in my place?  Did he WANT me to pee my pants?   He ignored me, my Mom, the Principal and the doctor’s note.  Who did he think he was that HE should have the final say?  I think of the pendulum and what would happen to this teacher if this occurred today.

I let Max in and gave him a treat.  Peeing is rewarded in my household.  I also will never deter anyone with a “can’t you just hold it”.   To this day, every now and then, I will still get those “really have to pee again and again” moments…even without drinking.  No doctor has ever found anything wrong.  They all seem to agree with the original “If he has to pee, let him pee” remedy.

Everyone except for one 6^th grade teacher.