As I covered before, College and “Road Trip” go hand in
hand. This time it was late fall of 1986
and you still had a few weeks before you had to study for finals. One of my friend’s roommates went to
high school with guys who now attended Ursinus College in, appropriately
enough, Collegeville, PA. We decided
this would be our Friday night destination.
We arrived at the dorm and the high school buddies had a
mini reunion. While they
kicked back with a few, the three of us not being alum decided to break away
and explore the campus. It was the
first weekend of December and a light snow was falling. It wasn’t sticking and it really didn’t
seem to be that cold out. It was
picturesque painting as we wandered through the wooded college. There was a quietness that permeated
throughout. We looked for signs of
life, but all we could hear was the occasional wind gust. In the distance we saw a shimmering
light…and yes, we thought we’d stop for the night. As we approached the building, the light emanated from the
other side. We turned the corner
to see the entire first floor beset with windows. The glow came from the lights within. Inside was a serene setting of festive
females. A dozen or so Christmas
clad co-eds carrying on with their holiday hangings. We stood in silence in front of the glass and stared for
what seemed like hours. We were unseen. Well, not unseen by everyone. Our trance was terminated by a
rent-a-cop. In a stern voice he
awoke us, “What are you guys doing here?”
Without missing a beat I responded, “Window Shopping!” He was not amused. The commotion drew the attention of our
Christmas angels. A few poked
their head out the door and asked the guard what the issue was. He pointed in our direction asking if
they knew us. One spoke out,
“Yeah, they are with us...let them in.”
We were as surprised as Ferris was when his sister covered for him with
Mr. Rooney.
We had stumbled upon the girl’s dorm. Dumb luck I suppose. They asked us for assistance with their
decorating and we gladly obliged. One
of my friends was 6’ 5” and came in handy for the higher hanging
ornaments. He was their own
personal Bumble. They were setting
up for their dorm’s party the following night, but we got an early preview. As the party preparation wound down it
was time for them to prep. We were
invited up to their rooms. We were
now in the inner sanctum. We were
free to roam as our holiday hosts went about their business. Room to room we explored seeing others
already in full swing. We were
invited into a room with two girls who looked like they could have still been
in high school, and probably were earlier that year. They were drinking from an IV bag hung much like you would
see bedside at a hospital. I had
hoped maybe they were nursing students.
We were offered a sampling as a Meat Loaf song began to play. As the music continued we suddenly were
ignored. It was at the “We were
barely 17 and we were barely dressed” that they embraced and kissed. Hmmm, time to move on.
We rendezvoused with our festive females. They were heading to the campus bar
and we could join them if we liked.
Well, sure! But we had to
rally back with our friend first.
We said we would meet up with them there later and asked if they knew our friend. They did not, but they gave us
directions back to his dorm. We
were thanked for our holiday help, and were told we better be at the bar
later. As the girls exited the
building, I held my friends back from leaving.
They both looked at me for my reason. I said we had gotten lucky before getting into the girls
dorm. Luck may not be on our side next time if we needed to get in. After wandering the first floor, we found a fire exit. ALARM WILL SOUND WHEN OPENING
DOOR. From previous dorm life
experience, we knew this never worked.
And it didn’t this time either.
We exited and my friend held the door open. I quickly scoured the outside and found a piece of brick. We used this to prop the door open so
we could gain access later.
As we began to walk I turned to one friend and asked him for the directions back to
the dorm. His look led me to turn
to the other. What neither of you was
listening? Well, that made three
of us. I guess we found our way
here…we would find our way back.
After an hour or so of going building to building, I knew we were hopelessly lost. We finally found one that had someone inside.
We entered and headed to the guard at the front desk. He seemed a bit skittish as his walkie
talkie went off. “Yeah, there are
three menacing characters roaming the campus and they are heading your way.” Hey, that must be us! He answered it simply. “Yeah I see them”. An angry response jolted back, “Well, I've lost them,
where the hell are they!” And back
he went, ”Right in front of me”.
We could hardly contain our laughter. We pointed out to the guard at the desk these “three menacing characters” are just
lost and needed to get back to the guys dorm. We were told to wait here, the head of security was on his
way. We assumed it was his pal
on the other end. In a few moments in entered
Captain Harris from Police Academy.
I swear he was ready to yell “Proctor!” at his desk-side counterpart. He informed us he had been following
our antics all evening long from the moment we left the guy’s dorm. He began grilling us about our
intentions…like you really needed to know what three guys intentions are at an
all girls dorm? Accusingly he
asked, “And why were you guys propping open that door?” Not recalling our earlier exit I responded with, “We did not try
to pry open any door.” Angrily he
shouted, “PROP, PROP!” It was then
my friend said, “I thinks he plays for the Flyers”. Well, we were supposed to be menacing, weren’t we?
Eventually the guard calmed down and was satisfied with our
tale. He “escorted” us to the guy’s
dorm where our story was confirmed by our friend. Later that night we all went to the campus bar to meet up
with our vixens...and donner and blitzens. After grabbing a
few brews we spotted them. They
were glad to see us and asked if we were all right. Curious as to why all the concern, one
responded.
“We heard there are three menacing characters roaming the
campus.”
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