Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head
Some people are followed by a dark cloud while others have
clouds with silver linings…my cumulous companion contains rain. I am the guy from the old Weather Channel commercial...coming in from the outside proclaiming, I hate the rain! Except in my version, when the liquid lover at the bar argues angrily FOR rain, I will beat him into submission with my umbrella.
I am not exactly sure when this moisture monster decided to stalk my outdoor existence. I refer back to my first outdoor concert…beautiful Forest Hills tennis center. A quaint little venue in the middle of a Queens oasis…uncovered. The rain came, the music was cut short. I thought I would have better luck at the beach, Jones Beach Theater, wonderfully placed by the ocean and bay. But soon the water below was followed by the water from above. The rain came, the music was cut short. Maybe the 3rd time was a charm. I decided to travel to Philly to the Mann Music Center. It was outdoors, but it contained seats and stage covered by a shed. This would guarantee the show would go on…but alas, there are no guarantees in life. The deluge was so heavy that flooding occurred near the electrical equipment. The rain came, the music was cut short.
My flooding friend was also a fan of football. I had traveled to Pittsburgh to treat
myself for a game on my birthday.
I recall sitting as it approached halftime of the Steelers game. Christina had gone for beers, not
realizing she took the umbrellas with her. He saw his opportunity to strike! What started as a trickle became a full faucet. I sat there taking my punishment. I had no umbrella, I had no beer, the
Steelers were losing…and I was soaking wet…Happy F’n Birthday to ME!
What about baseball you say? They STOP baseball when it is raining. Why yes, yes they do! I tried to outsmart him. Journeying to Yankee Stadium and knowing he would try to “rain on my
parade”…I purchased tickets to allow us warm, safe and dry passage into the
Mohegan Sun Bar. A beautifully constructed
covered area in centerfield, with a full
view of the action. This time I
saw him coming. We bugged out of
our regular seats early and headed for shelter.
We arrived before the others since I had inside info of the oncoming
onslaught. Without catching a
drop, we settled at a stand up area behind the paid seating, a prime spot. It poured…peering out the massive
window it looked like the whole bar was going through a carwash. But we were warm, safe and dry! Not so fast…the ceiling of the bar
began to leak on us. A billion
dollar stadium, and I was under the only non watertight spot. Victory was his.
Over the years there were more outdoor concerts, more sporting events...and more rain. Seems the evidence of my own personal pourer has always been there. You see, it was a few years back I
decided to test the theory, was this cloud actually mine. Others get caught in this rain too
right? I created a challenge for
him on my wedding weekend. I dared
this devil of downpour…but there was a catch. The actual wedding day is for the bride – leave that
alone. I beckoned him to bring it
for the rehearsal BBQ the evening before.
This was MY party…and all the guests were welcome. The forecast was for a perfect weekend,
so friends scoffed he wouldn’t show.
The tent was up, the BBQ was glowing and the guests arrived…and so did
he.
Rain, rain, go away, follow Mike and ruin HIS day. The sky’s opened but of course, and I
knew it was from just one source.
Our hosts proclaimed, it hadn’t rained and that Vermont was in
drought…but I had brought, that moisture port…of which I had no doubt. I always wanted to be Dr. Seuss.
The sun would shine brightly the following day…but today he
was sleeping on the job. Luckily the
guests, the music and the tables were covered. Out alone in the rain, a single figure manned the ½ barrel of burning briquettes. I took my challis of defeat and
assumed my position next to him.
Puzzled, the grill master turned to me, letting me know he had it under
control…I have nothing to worry about.
I informed him I did not doubt his abilities, but I had brought this
bridal shower to the party. And it’s
my party, I’ll get wet if I want to.
My rain cloud would have it no other way.
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