The South Shall Rise Again

The South Shall Rise Again

A few years back my cousin and his girlfriend visited me from Germany.  I was not quite the cook I am today, so when it came time for food we looked to go out.  They both said they wanted something “American”.  And what is more American than barbecue.  Even though that night we had some fine fare, the best barbecue still resides in the South.  And once a year they bring that barbecue to us…The Big Apple BBQ Block Party.  It’s a meat lover's dream and a vegan’s nightmare.

Every year I eagerly await the website posting of the FastPass.  This allows the holder and a friend quicker access.  You prepay for $100 worth of food.  The pass is punched as your purchase.  The purveyors of pork set up shop along the outskirts of the park.  Their giant smokers and grills bellow smoke well above the skyline.  The FastPass few can access them along the sidewalk while the others have to fend from the street.  The FastPass is a must have.

Christina and I arrived early, and with a plan.  With chairs and a cooler we would stake out a parcel of parkland near the FastPass entrance.  This would allow us even quicker access in and out.  To maximize our time we would start with one of the most popular places.   We would avoid a long wait by lining up well before the 11am starting gun.  Bob Gibson’s was our #1 choice.  From Decatur, Alabama, his pulled pork sandwich stands alone.  Each year I can’t believe it is that good, and each year it is.  Several of his own sauces are served but it is the Championship Red we would slather on.  It also came with no finer a coleslaw.  After our first food, where next?

We would then pay a visit to Ed Mitchell from Raleigh, North Carolina.  His whole hog sandwich had been a winner over Bobby Flay in a throwdown... and I was sure everyone there had seen the episode.  Different than pulled pork, he finely chops up the meat and adds a blend of his own spices.  I knew we would face a long line, but our original hunger would be satisfied.  Ed Mitchell also did a smoked turkey so it would be a two-plated reward for the wait.

We planned for a break after sampling the big two.  We would need to relax and recoup our hunger.  Jim n Nick’s from Birmingham, Alabama would be next.  I discovered this little gem my first year, and surprisingly hardly any one else has.  I would have easy access to their smoked sausage.  It had fantastic flavor and was covered in a spicy red sauce.  To step it up even further, it was served with a cheddar cheese/jalapeno side.  We will need a beverage or two for that one.

Did anyone say “what about ribs?”  Don’t worry, I didn’t forget.  Two years ago I wanted to hit 17^th Street BBQ and the famous grill master Mike Mills from Illinois.  I had seen his ribs on the Food Channel and they were ranked among the best.  The line was long…there’s a surprise.  Somehow I got into a shorter line and was served rather quickly…I never gave it much thought.  The ribs were soft, smoky and the meat fell right off the bone.  Kudos to the Food Channel…they nailed it.  But it wasn’t until the following year I figured out what happened.  It seems the Checkered Pig from Virginia, a lesser known rib place, set up shop right next to 17^th Street BBQ.  It was THEIR ribs I had.  No wonder the line was short, I got on the wrong one!  Well, no big deal…I really loved the ribs I had.  But now I was more determined than ever to taste the intended.  After waiting on the long...and correct...line I finally obtained my ribs.  Guess what, I liked the other ones better.  17^th Street BBQ was not all it was cracked up to be.  SO this year, now that I got it all straightened out, the plan was to pass on 17^th Street BBQ.  It would be the Checkered Pig’s ribs we would have today…let the others wait.

With all this pig I can hear the blue haired Wendy’s lady yelling, “Where’s the Beef?  The beef would come from The Salt Lick.  Their Austin, TX restaurant ranked #5 on the Travel Channel for food destinations…among all, not just BBQ.  Equal to Bob Gibson and Ed Mitchell in popularity, it would once again be a long line.  But at this point I would be filled to the brim, a wait would do me good.  Their beef brisket is as tender as butter.  Such a wonderful flavor a sauce is not needed.   It would be a wonderful way to end the day.

This was a good plan indeed.

It was 10:30.  Christina and I settled into Bob Gibson’s line…about 15 deep.  It looked like our wait would be short.  I love it when a plan comes together!  The line curved back past their grill so I could watch them prepare.  I drooled like Max waiting for a Milkbone.  The bell rang 11 and the servers served.  But what was this?  Why aren’t we moving?  People started passing us with plates from other places.  I worked my way to the front to find the issue.  It seems the first man in the FastPass line ordered 50 pulled pork sandwiches.  He was going to ruin my plan.  We would never be able to fit everything in.  Apparently Redneck Bill, the name I now had given him, arrived with several tins and seemed intent on feeding his entire family…for the year.  The slow moving street side speedily served while the FastPass holders were ground to a halt.  The crowd got antsy to say the least.  I thought to myself, how will Redneck Bill eat all those without any teeth?  He easily went through his $100 FastPass card and had to compensate with cash.  He unpocketed several crumbled up bills.  I shouted. “Make sure that is not Confederate money!” Redneck Bill, who probably couldn’t count to 10, now had to count out 300 dollars…and the wait continued.  I wondered how much moonshine he had to sell to obtain such a bounty.  Maybe he was an extra on Swamp People.  Finally filled, our southern fried friend passed…tins pilled eye high.  I think it took every ounce of Christina’s good Christian heart not to trip him…he’s lucky he went by on her side.

Almost an hour passed before we arrived at the register.  My plan was shattered.  We placed our order, our hunger levels peeked.  But we would have to wait again.

They ran out of the first cooked servings of pulled pork.